Friday, November 7, 2008

Blessing #7

This is an easy blessing to come up with! I'm late today because of my day. it was so awful! I woke up this morning to a phone call my dad was being rushed to the hospital.
Blessing #7: My dad's life: God took care of my daddy today. we knew he was having some abnormalities with his heart. But, we didn't know how bad. when we had severe chest pains this morning, he told mom to call 911. Then, luckily, took aspirin and some nitroglycerin pills. Because of those, his pain had reduced a bit by the time they got to the hospital. To make a long story-a very long story-short, they took him to the cath lab, found that he had a 100% blockage in his LAD in the form of a clot-also known as "the widow maker"--this kills 1 out of 4 people that have it ( think this is what the dr said, i need sleep), and they usually don't know there is anything wrong. They gave him blood thinners, cleared the clot, ballooned another vessel-or something- and put in 2 stints. All of this happened, and my dad officially did not have a full blown heart attack. Amazing. Seriously. My blessing of the day, daddy is still with us, is doing good-sleeping at the hospital recovering. Thank you God for saving my daddy! So lucky-that is what the doctors said over and over.
My daddy and the grandkids last Christmas!


Anne said...

I'm thankful, too, that your dad's alright! Sounds like a scary day. No matter how 'grown-up' we get, we still want/need our daddy's.

Erin McDaniel said...

I am so glad to hear that everything is alright! I was worried when you didn't make it to the Speed Scrap and Britt said you had a family emergency. I was praying for you and your family and it sure sounds like you got a miracle. I think that I will call my dad tomorrow...

lime said...

So glad everything went well, got a bit worried when you didn't host the speed scrap as planned. Take care and enjoy life!

Kristen said...

Oh my goodness- how scary about your dad! I'm so glad that you can count this as a blessing, but I'm sorry he's in the hospital and it was such a scary call! You really ARE blessed!

Beth said...

Wow -- so glad your dad is okay!

Joni said...


We've never met but I just happened across your blog when you were referred by someone else. Of course, I LOVE to read about "Blessings" or "Miracles" or anything of that type and I immediately began reading. Just reading this one post #7, you are SO Blessed. I am so thrilled for you that your Daddy was able to be treated and is alive and recovering well in the hospital.

My Mama had her first (of 3) pacemakers at age 58. My Daddy died in 2004 after having "something wrong happen to him", he told Mama, on April 19, 2004 ~ but he would NOT let Mama call 911. What he didn't realize was that he had a stroke and IF HE had allowed Mama to call 911 amd he had been treated immediately, he would have probably survived with MINOR complications ~ BUT it ended up that he fell at his home, was rushed to the hospital via 911 amd emded up that his brain was SO DAMAGED that he didn't recognize any of his 3 daughters or any of his 3 Grandsons. The Dr. asked my Mama to "Please, Please NOT go to the hospital but just remember him as he was" so she did as he asked, although it was almost impossible for her to do. They had been married for 59 years in February, 2004 prior to his stroke in April 2004 and Oh God, she did love him to much. So.....the vigil at the hospital was mainly my 2 sisters because I have had MS for 27 years, leaving me with no immune system and with a "strep virus" that had JUST begun in the hospital, the nurses would NOT ALLOW me to go back to the hospital via Security. That just about devastated I sat at Mama's with her and everyone else, 2 sisters, my son and my dil, all took "shifts" with Daddy.

I DID see my Daddy 2 times in the hospital snd the last time i saw him wss on Thursday prior to him dying on Sunday I KNOW that he recognized me! I have BIG brown eyes with LONG lashes that I got from Daddy amd my son (and my Grandson) got them too! I got up very close to him and I had to LOUDLY tell him to "LOOK AT ME!" and he did. I "batted my eyes" st him, which I would do many times and he smiled at me. I KNOW that my Daddy recognized me the last time I saw him before he died. Along with the stroke and him not able to do anything, I sat and watched my Daddy unable to talk, unable to feed himself, unable to sit up, totally unable to be the "Strong Daddy" he had always been and I KNEW that he would be SO EMBARASSED by us seeing him like that. He would have NEVER wanted "His Girls" to see him like that........yet it was "His Girls" that were there for him in the end. This was especially difficult to me because of the 3 daughters, *I* am the one thst looks just like him - BUT I KNOW that he recognized me. During the "shifts" that everyone was taking (BUT not my husband), my older sister (the one that literally HATES ME) was with my Daddy when he died. She phoned Mama's house about 11:15 pm on Sunday, April 24, 2004 and let us know that "Daddy is gone. He went very, very peacefully". I COULD NOT BELIEVE my Daddy wss dead...and at that time, I wss 46. My world came to a 'partial end' but Thank God, I STILL had Mama. We knew that IF Mama died before Daddy, we would NOT be able to "handle him" and, with them having been married almost 60 years, he would NOT live 3 months without her. So, in thst manner, God WAS 'looking out for us'.


MY Marriage was VERY BAD ~ BUT we had been 'working on things'. My husband informed me Sept. 23, 2006 that "he didn't love me anymore, he wasn't IN LOVE WITH ME anymore, our marriage had no future and IT'S OVER" I could not breathe and I could not speak. I thought right then thst I surely would die because he explained that "HE WOULD NOT LEAVE OUR HOME and I WOULD NEED TO MOVE". I am on Social Security Disability income of $680.00 a month and that's it. ~AND ~ For well over 6 years I had drafted $500.00 a month out of my Disability check of $680.00 a month into "our joint account" for him to pay bills. (HE DEMANDED THAT I DO THAT) His VA Disability that *I* did ALL of the paperwork for and all he did was just go to the Doctors when they said was approved and HIS Disability check was up to $410.00 per month. He hawd that deposited in "our savings account". AFTER he told me everying on Sept 23, 2006 I discovered that the savings account was in HIS NAME ONLY!!! HE did that so that *I* COULD NOT GET TO **HIS** VA DISABILITY. THAT is what he later told me. To shorten this, I had to live with him in our homw, in our bed (because I DID NOT want this to happen).

So, things went on and we CHERISHED Mama because her health was MUCH worse than Daddy's. Daddy was THE HEALTHY ONE. Not Good. Mama had now had 3 pacemakers implanted and her heart had very little 'electrical activity' to keep the pacemaker going. So, we just loved her and spent ALL the time we could with her. As we watched her, we KNEW when the time was near that she was going to go soon.....BUT NO WOMAN EVER wants to think about actually lose their Mama. She did NOT want to lose her independence BUT my older sister moved in with her. We were ALL relieved when she did.

She celebrated her 80th birthday wiht her first and only Great Grandson; her being 80 on 10/26/06 and my Grandson, her Great Grandson turned 1 on 10/22/06, so my dil and son planned the surprise party and we all converged on Mama and they brought William (my Daddy's middle name) to Mama's (His ~ and my son's and dil's; 'Nana') for their party. It was totally awesome watching the 2 of them sitting side by side, William in his high chair!! My son and dil also brought William to Mama's house for Christmas, arriving at her house for Christmas, William's 2nd Christmas but the first one he would really know what was going on!! They came to stay on Dec. 22 and staying through Dec. 27. They left and drove back 3.5 hours to their house and of course, I did spend SO MUCH TIME with Mama as possible because she JUST DID NOT "look good". My husband and I just 'tolerated' each other because I had no place to move. Mama and I would talk A LOT and she explained to me that having her birthday and Christmas with her GREAT Grandchild, which she would say, since my dil became pregnant that "I *never thought* I'd live long enough to have a great grandchild". BUT she did and she ADORED HIM!! I was at home the morning of December 29, 2006 and my older sister that lived Mama phoned me and asked if my husband was home and I told her no and she lost it and screamed into the phone "MAMA'S GONE! I WENT IN TO WAKE HER UP AFTER WE HAD SPOKEN AND SHE WAS DEAD! MAMA IS DEAD!!" I COULD NOT BELIEVE what I had heard but at the same time, I really could because I KNEW that Mama was doing too much 'reflecting' and discussing things with me that just were not like I immediately got in my car and drove to Mama's. The 15 minute trip took me about 5 minutes. (I WANTED to get stopped by a policeman!!)

When I got to Mama's house, both of my sisters were there, in fact quite a few people were there. It was as if she had phoned me almost last............ THAT HURT ~ BUT I had to deal with the fact that Mama was in her bed dead and the funeral home had JUST arrived to get her body. I immediately went and got in bed with Mama and curled up behind her "spooning" as we always did when we went out of town together on a 'fun trip' or when I stayed with her when Daddy went out of town OR when she was alone after Daddy died. I literally was curled up by my Mama, kissing her, talking to her, saying "No, Mama ~ I miss you already", totally out of control. I DID NOT WANT them to 'take her body' because I was there with her and she looked *SO* peaceful, just like any time she was sleeping. (I am now crying because it hurt me worse than ANYTHING EVER IN MY LIFE.....and now, Nov. 8, 2008, with yesterday, 11-7-2008 being mine and my husband's 13th wedding anniversary. I JUST NEED MAMA...but I do not have her to sit and have amazing discussions with or just a hug to 'make everything better'. I believe we ALL cam identify with those hugs with Mama.....

Daddy was burned April 27, 2004 and Mama was burned on January 2, 2007. I have no parents. I feel like an orphan. Mama died and was buried after I turned 49 on 10-2-2006. right after my husband informing me of his 'fiasco'.

I don't believe I've ever felt SO ALONE in my life.

With my marriage, etc. I did think check "OUR" internet account because I *thought* it was in just my name, which IT WAS! SO I got access to handle all of the accounts. I did discover 3 email accounts that I knew nothing about and 2 of them were being used by him and a 24 year old girl (he was 48 at the time) and they were sending emails that were OBVIOUSLY PROVING they were having an affair. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I again thought I'd die.... This had obviously gone on well over 5 months when I found their emails. He had rushed out and, due to our marriage situation and what he knew what was going to happen, rushed out and bought a 2007 Honda Ridgeline Truck which I believe wass #28,000.00. One of her emails thanked him for going to show her his truck and what a "GREAT time she had 'with him' when he took her for a drive" - but HE SWORE than he had not seen her since he got his truck. Anyway, in October, 2007 I did move to the VA Mountains, about an hour from where my son, dil and Grandson lived ~ and she was pregnant again!!

I'm in Blacksburg, VA now and he is still in my hometown of New Bern, NC, still maintaining contact with both of my sisters, still living in OUR HOME, renting out half of our home to a co-eorker (and *I* am not getting half of what he is receiving) and ALL family that I have there and I KNOW HE IS DOING ALL OF THIS **JUST** TO SPITE ME. I did return to our home to get some things that he did not ship to me and thankfully he was not home but his Dad was there. He and I have ALWAYS gotten along well. I COULD NOT BELIEVE OUR HOME! It literally stank. It was full of cats, the 2 that he had plus the 3 more adults and 3 kittens that his roommate had - PLUS a huge aquarium in the dining room (with no table) with an iguana in the aquarium!! I could NOT believe how filthy the house was. It was VERY SAD to me.... After Mama died, I could NOT believe what my older sister did. During any conversations, she will get FURIOUS at me and hang up on me if I say ANYTHING NEGATIVE sbout him ~ BUT ~ THOSE kinds of things are all I have to say about him. He has done NOTHING 'positive' at all. He has not given me one red cent since I moved to VA. Other stuff has happened ~ A LOT OF STUFF ~ but I believe since I have typed a lengthy "Epistle", I will
stop soon!

This is probably WAY too long and if it is to you, please just delete it.

PLEASE, adore your Daddy and cherish every moment that you have with him. I say this because I do know just what it is like when Daddy is no longer there....and of course, the worst part, when Mama is no longer there either.

Please forgive me for typing so much. Typing this and crying through this and feeling the pain all over again about ALL of this has almost been "therapeutic" for me. I know that is very strange but this is the FIRST time I have even typed anything about this. I am almost sorry that it's been here but I felt some 'need' to type this. I'm sorry......

I love *MY* Daily Blessings and it tickles me to see that someone else does too. I thank *HIM* immediately and smile at Mama and Daddy.

God Bless You and Your Family. I'm SO happy that your Daddy is well..

Big Hugs!

~ Joni